Away To Me

Crappy day

I'm having a crappy ass day. Seriously crappy. I won't go into great detail, but it does involve my mom, my dad and my grandma (mom's mom). Really, I've had enough. It's to the point that I've begun to wonder if it's me, not them. I mean I am the common denominator. My hubby doesn't think it's me. He did tell me I need to not give my father advice. So I will take my hubby's advice and not give dad any. That should help things a bit, with him. The other two are a lost cause!

I had a great chuckle today when a friend told me about this site: Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. Oh my gosh. I can not believe how much my mom fit's some of the characteristics description to a "T". I mean it's down right scary!

The icing on the cake today ... I decided to just get out of the house, away from the computer ( and the emails from clients that were pissing me off) and the phone (from family members calling and pissing me off). So I took a walk, looking like I was drug behind a tractor for 40 yards. With two dirty-faced babies, Jake in non-matching clothes and Grace.  As we turn the corner headed for home, this gorgeous thin woman standing next to a car starts waving and yelling, "Oh my gosh it's Jake". It was a mom from his school. The gorgeous, thin, always put together, always involved in the school function mom. Sigh, it was just too much. I was so embarrassed by how crappy me and the kids looked. Evidently they are looking for houses in our neighborhood. If they move here I'd be forced to clean up a bit more before walks!

It's called parenting

Today I had a lesson in parenting. Lately I've had a lot of lessons in parenting, but today's lesson just proved to me how important it is to "Parent" our children. I can not tolerate the lack of parenting in this country. Makes me ill! I also can not tolerate wasting food or wasting my time.

This morning Jake didn't want the normal breakfast options he has. So, being that it was Friday and we didn't have to rush off to school. I figured I'd make him just about anything he wanted. He said he wanted a grilled cheese sandwich. Easy enough! So I made him a fancy grilled cheese sandwich. (Basic sandwich but made in the sandwich presser thing that make it look fancy). Normally this is a hit. But after two bites this morning he decided he didn't' want it.

No problem, you can eat it later I said. Tears instantly. "But I don't like it, I don't want it". Truth be told he was mad that we told him he couldn't eat in the living room. Why this request was made by him is beyond me. We don't eat in the living room.  By 10:00 he was hungry. I told him he could eat the sandwich. More tears, more screaming, more drama. I ignored it and was doing laundry at the back of the house. I came back into the kitchen and didn't notice anything out of place. Jake was watching TV in the living room, seemed to be calmed down. Then he said, "I didn't do nothing". He he little stinker still doesn't know how to play it cool. I looked, his sandwich is gone. I asked him if he ate it. Nope, he put it in the trash and told me he put it in the trash.

I calmly told him to go get it out of the trash. That we do not throw away food. He screamed, yelled, told me no. I turned off the TV, walked him to the trash can, opened the lid and because it was a brand new trash bag and nothing in there but his sandwich, I had to pull the bag up to the top of the can. (it's an extra tall trash can, he'd never be able to reach the bottom). More tears, more screaming, but the sandwich was back on the table. I sent him to his room, told him he could come out when he was able to be nice, not cry and eat his sandwich. Many tears, screaming, an occasional thrown toy and finally about 25 minutes later he came out. Proclaimed, "I'm ready to eat my sandwich now mommy". He was smiling, happy and joking as he climbed into his seat. I asked, "how's the sandwich big guy". He said, "It's nummy, thanks mommy". I was floored. As i'm typing this, he's finishing up his "nummy" sandwich, and he's telling me he loves me. He's happy as can be. I hate when he cries and tantrums and things turn into such a wreck. It makes me rehash all that I did to see if I could have handled it better. Seeing his attitude change and watching him happily eat his sandwich just made my morning. I know he learned a good lesson. All those tears, both his and mine, were not cried for nothing!

Birthday stuff

I'm both sad and disappointed that the birthday party for the babies didn't work out. I'm mad that my dad didn't seem to care, actually seemed happy about it. My brother never bothered to call me back and my mom, where do I start with my mom. She claims she was never putting the friend's birthday party over the babies party. She didn't realize their party was such a big deal and that she was just trying to make everyone happy. Give me a break!

Some times I just want to scream SUCK IT. To people. That makes me laugh to say that!

Anyway, even though we aren't having a party for them I did do an invite. Here's the modified version without the time/date and contact info. I thought it was cute. Love my boys!

Big giant sigh .... the sad worried kind.

I received an email from Jake's bio dad yesterday. It wasn't the warm fuzzy kind I was hoping for. It had sad news in it. It breaks my heart. I obviously won't go into details, but the news effects my son. I don't know how to respond to the email. I don't know how to journal this information fo Jake later in life. I suppose I could just keep a copy of the email for him. That way it's not my take on things, it's the truth as told by his bio dad.

Makes my heart ache though.

Party cancelled

I don't want the hassle, drama or expense. I want to celebrate the day these little boys entered the world without anyone upset about how it is scheduled. I know people will be pissed at me either way. But screw it! Maybe everyone will get their priorities in line by the time Jake's birthday comes around.

My mom did send me an email apologizing. But it was one of those, "you don't understand me, I wasn't putting the friends' birthday ahead of the boys'. yada yada yada" type apologies.

She is who she is and I can't change her. So I've learned to work around her weirdness and enjoy the parts of her I can enjoy.

First Birthday Bash Blowout!

Relatives can suck. My mom for example sucks right now. SUCKS Big time! She called me this morning to tell me that her mom, my grandma, had requested she go to an old family friend's birthday party the week before my boy's birthday party. She then asked if she could come see us and stay the night after that party. (Side note: My mom lives about 5 hours from us and the first party is about 1 hour from our home). So I asked her if she was coming to the boys party which was 5 days later? Oh no of course not, that would be too much. I wanted to clarify that I was hearing things correctly so I asked, "So your going to B's party but your not coming to the boy's birthday party"? I was calm when I asked this, but the question set her off BIG TIME. Her exact response was, "Why do you like to hate me". Oh here we go is all I could think.

The good news is I was always calm, told her I thought her priorities were screwed up. Told her I'd understand more if she couldn't make it down south at all. But what irked me was that she could make it to someone else's party and not to the boy's party. The conversation basically ended with her playing martyr and telling me, "I'll be there" and hanging up.

Honestly, between hubby's family not being involved, my mom being a twit, my dad being grumpy lately and not wanting to drive at night, I've really just about had it. Frankly I'm seriously considering just not having a party with anyone. Just the five of us and some cake! The boys won't care and really I can get great birthday pictures for their memory books without the drama of family. I really don't know.

I think I need to shake things up

I'm either going to quit this blog or I'm going to find the freedom of voicing my opinions on it. I'm tired of stopping myself from writing a post because I may offend one of my readers (the few that remain) that I care about. You see, I've really forged great relationships with my blog readers. I so want to shout out my opinions about politics sometimes, but I hold back. Is that silly or is it wise? I'm not sure.

I am sure that I am completely bored with this blog. I am also sure that I do NOT want to discuss parenting advice on it. We won't be adopting or going through an fertility treatments again. Really I'm not sure I have anything to write about.

If I complain about issues with kids I'll seem ungrateful. Which I am NOT. I don't know, I feel sort of lost on this blog now.

Great Article on BLW (Baby Led Solids)

http://babble.com/baby-weaning-eating-solid-baby-foods/index.aspx

Fire station 93!

We had a blast.

Seriously boring blog

This blog has taken a nose dive lately. I could go into politics or religion and ruffle some feathers. But I don't' have the time or want to deal with the aftermath on that.

I could discuss crying it out and how I hate when people claim "they don't want to do it, but it's the only way" I call  bull shit on that one.

So instead I'll give you dancing babies!